before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
