Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am available for nakedness
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize