i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
