My hair reeks of homosexuality.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize