that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
