ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
