just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
