honey bunches of taint.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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