mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just cropdusted the office
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
