Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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