I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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