really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
