he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
