i think i have two assholes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize