we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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