Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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