You're completely useless in the revolution.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
