just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
