you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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