tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
