oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
do herpes really smell.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
