Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
