For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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