Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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