New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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