8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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