hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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