if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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