Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize