I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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