If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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