How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
