id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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