I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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