You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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