His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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