turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
