I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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