I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
