I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
