dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
