Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
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please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
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whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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