I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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