nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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