i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
