It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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