Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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