It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
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I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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