dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
