You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
