You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize