you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
