just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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