Where are you?
In a non slutty way
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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