There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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