I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She bit a glass in half.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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