just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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