i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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