Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
