Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
