Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I puked a lego.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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