dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
