just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
