I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
